For me, happiness didn’t just fall in my lap. I was never one of those people who poops rainbows, sunshine and unicorns wherever they go! I know some of those people. Their positive disposition would even annoy me because I didn’t understand how they had it and I wasn’t sure even if I knew, I could ever get it. (ie: not the best attitude)
Being happy never came easy for me. What’s been easy and what I’ve done really well most of my life is to notice what isn’t working, what I don’t have and what doesn’t feel good.
And even though this is where my thoughts and feelings were, what I really wanted to feel was happiness, peace, freedom…joy. But I just couldn’t seem to find it.
From a young age, I wasn’t sure where I fit in with the rest of the world. Most days in high school felt awkward and like I didn’t know who I was or if I had anything special like I felt everyone else did.
I spent most of my 20’s struggling with the same feelings of lack that carried over from childhood. Fast forward through my early 30’s, I found my passion, became an entrepreneur and married my soul mate. But still, my feelings of unhappiness didn’t go away. I found myself looping in this pattern not really sure why and also not sure how to change it.
My beliefs were like a broken record, giving me the same notes over and over again.
I wondered if something was wrong with me. Why am I so negative and some people seem so positive. I have a good life and yet why does it never feel like it’s enough?
That was a question I had to figure out for myself. I had to decide to get out of the loop.
I had to turn my attention away from everything outside of me so I could face myself.
And that’s when I realized that I’m the answer to my question. It took me really seeing myself, acknowledging and accepting that there was a hole I was trying to fill with all the wrong things.
And I knew from my broken record experience that there would never be anything external that could fill it, I would have to be the one. It took me a long time and a long way to know that I hold the key to my own, just as you do.
Your mindset is the key to everything. What you believe, becomes.
I knew that if I could become a master at finding what wasn’t working, I could become a master at finding what was. I could become a master of my own mindset and then and only then can I determine how I feel about myself and how I feel about my life.
Confidence, success and happiness are created by you and you alone.
So the question is, how do you start to feel happy? Well, something’s got to change. And it’s not going to be everything outside of you, it’s gotta be you that’s changes. Your mindset.
You change your habits around how you look at the world.
A habit is defined as: a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.
The habits around how you feel about yourself and your life have given you what you have and if you want something different, you’re going to have to do something different. Otherwise, you’ll be hearing the same crappy notes in the same loop over and over again. That, by the way, is the definition of insanity.
You’re only stuck where you stay.
So don’t stay.
Move your energy in a new way.
Shift your mindset.
Below are 10 habits that are huge mind shifts taking you from the old way of thinking to a new one. I’m not saying you’re going to read these things below and instantly feel happy and then click out of this article and embody true happiness. Although it could happen! I’m actually saying these are habits that you can use to create a new way of thinking, perceiving and seeing the world.
Start with the one habit that resonates most for you right now.
Then come back when you’re ready for the next. You can also print and pin the graphic below.
10 Habits to Start Now
- Focus on what is. It’s so simple: what you focus on grows. When you’re focusing on the negative, that’s what you’ll bring into your life. Choose to focus on what is in your life, not what isn’t. Choose to focus on what’s working, not what isn’t. Choose to focus on how much you have in your life, not how little you have. Our choices are powerful, choose to focus on what is.
- Don’t have expectations of others. It’s easy to want the world from others but having expectations of others is a dead end. Everyone is completely different and if you need something from someone, communicate that need openly with them vs wish them to behave differently. Accept others for who they are, where they are and know that they’re doing their best just like you. When you let go of expectations, you open the way to acceptance and love. Towards others and yourself.
- Know yourself. Accept your weaknesses, forge your strengths. To know yourself is to see yourself truthfully, honestly and fully. Know your weaknesses and your strengths and accept them. Honor yourself fully by loving every part of you. Yes, even the things you think could or should be better. Let that way of judging yourself go. Own every part of you and focus on forging your strengths. When you focus on your weaknesses and what you aren’t, you take energy and love away from all the things you are. It comes through acceptance and a choice to let go of self judgement. Own every part of you and forge your strengths!
- Celebrate the little things. All big victories are created through hundreds of mini victories. Don’t let the big picture keep you from seeing the little mini successes. Celebrate the little victories and enjoy the journey!
- Put your phone down and be in the moment. Time is the most precious resource we have. Don’t spend your time buried in your phone and other people’s lives. Bury your heart in the lives of the people who love you. This moment is all we really have.
- Smile. Every time you smile, natural feel-good hormones like dopamine, serotonin and endorphins release and have a dance party in your body. A negative attitude leads one way while a smile can lead a hundred different ways, opening you up to possibility, love, freedom and joy.
- Start a gratitude journal. Every morning before you get up out of bed, think about three things you’re so grateful for in your life. Focus on one at a time. As you think about each thing, really think about that thing and how it makes you feel. Be grateful and give thanks. Do this with all three. When you get out of bed, write down these three things in your gratitude journal. However you start your day, is most likely how your day will go. Start it with gratitude, good feelings and joy for what is. Every day, try to think of something new. It can be something small or something significant. It can be a memory, a person or a moment that happened yesterday. Once you get into the groove of doing this habit, you’ll notice yourself start collecting happy moments of gratitude throughout your day like suddenly you become the observer soaking in all the good things.
- Move. You have to feel it to heal it. We all hold energy in our bodies. That’s exactly what we are, energy. Stagnant energy is energy that needs attention. When you push things down and distract yourself so you don’t have to feel the hard things you don’t want to deal with, you create stress in the body by stagnating the energy’s life force. All energy needs attention and nourishment. All energy, good and bad, needs to move. Moving your body is one of the easiest ways to move misplaced, stagnant energy. It also creates good energy. Another way to move your energy is by allowing yourself to feel all of your feelings. No running, pushing or hiding it…but instead, allowing it to move through you. You have to feel it to heal it. Let it move through your body, feel it and let it heal itself in the process.
- Instead of worrying what you’re getting in life, ask what you can give. Powerful, isn’t it. To change one little thought today from what you’re not getting to instead asking yourself what you can give. Live life less out of what you’re getting and more out of what you can give to others. This is one of the most powerful shifts for me and came at a time when I felt scarcity, lack and alot of it was brought on my comparison to other people. I realized if I wanted to feel good about myself, I needed to start giving of myself. Less focus on what I’m getting in life, more focus on what I can give. It’s been a change of heart that turned me away from fear and returned me to love.
- Be grateful. Wake up every day and be grateful for your life. I put this last because it’s the most powerful. Your feelings come from your thoughts and your thoughts come from your beliefs. If you don’t feel happy you’re most likely not in gratitude. You’re probably thinking about what didn’t happen, what isn’t working or what didn’t turn out the way you wanted. You’ve got to change your behavior to a new habit of shifting from thoughts of scarcity to thoughts of thankfulness. Having an attitude of gratitude will always bring you back to love and happiness because you aren’t thinking in lack, you’re practicing abundance. Let gratitude be your super power and watch how it transforms your life.
When you feel unhappy in any way say these two words to yourself: thank you.
Right click to save the above image to repost or pin/share below. Which one of the above can you put into action today, comment below which one spoke to you most!
Love and fierce,