This is life. You will have those that love you, support you and lift you up and you will have those that will hurt you, snub you, put you down and work to turn your energy from golden to black. I think we all know the haters that have come into our life, some making lasting impressions, some slithering in and out like a icy gust of wind and unfortunately, even some that are our blood. I remember being called names almost daily by a girl I went to school with. That was my first encounter with someone who wanted to put me down and I always remember thinking, “For what?” Then you grow up and still, there they are. The interesting thing about haters are they are far less important than the lovers in our life, those people that will do anything to protect our happiness, but yet, they somehow can seem to make a bigger impact in the moment. I have grown tired of people telling me how I should act, what I should do, that what I’m doing sucks, that I should wear different clothes, that I should make different decisions and I should run my business a different way. I have grown to a point where I no longer am saddened by these types of comments and opinions but rather, ready to release the impact they have the ability to have on me. I have grown to a place where I feel more confident in my choices, what I’m doing, why I’m doing it and who I am and that is because of the hataz! In fact, I created this 7 Step Road-Map to Dealing with Them by being inspired by them, how cool is that!
1. Thank them: the people who work so hard to bring you down are really the ones who offer the perspective of the exact opposite, you just have to be open to seeing it. I would like to personally thank the two people who have interjected their opinions of me more recently, as it allowed me to dive into the road map for dealing with these types of people and situations and also helped me to create (this article). So thank you for perspective, an opportunity to create and share what I have learned, here and a few others that I will keep to myself.
2. Go to the source. before you let what someone says or does effect you negatively, look at and consider the person first before you consider what’s coming at you from them. The source of the negativity, criticism and lack of love is coming from their spirit. And why? Are they happy? Is something in the way of them being happy for you or more importantly, being happy for themselves? I may not always naturally go to the source first but I always end up telling myself to go there. To know that this is not about me, it’s not personal; it never is. To take it off of yourself and put the focus on them, that is a great start for alleviating the pain that could easily be felt from haters.
3. Send love energy. When I go to the source, I begin to understand that this behavior is not about me, but rather, them. I may never know what it is that creates this behavior from that person(s), but what I do have is a greater understanding and empathy for the fact that someone feels the need to be hurtful to someone else. When I feel negative energy, I see a black and gray energy coming towards me and trying to get in my energy field (whether or not you are tapped into your feelings on a deep level, we all know how we feel and all have the ability to execute this activity) and so I begin picturing a sea of colors and gold, in fact, I picture this image of the anti-bad vibe shield and send it their way. The thing about energy is it doesn’t have to be face to face to feel it, we can feel it over the phone, over a text or email, through tone of voice, through body movements and facial expressions, across the ocean on skype…it lives and moves through everything.
4. We are all good. I like to believe that we are all good or at least that we all have good within us. Going to the source and sending love to that person helps me be the healer, not the receiver. Sometimes, not saying anything at all is the best medicine for someone looking for a battle. Sit back, allow it to release from them, change the energy into something positive and send it back to them in rainbows.
5. Dance it off. I’m being totally serious. The next time you receive negative energy, criticism, etc, walk away and dance it off. Sometimes you just have to shake the negative from you, as it is like a rotten egg, it will fester and make its presence known until you throw it away. When was the last time you danced? Dancing is an instant jolt of positivity and happiness! Most of us aren’t professional dancers so when I do this, I always find myself laughing that I (a) probably look like a complete fool to the fly on the wall and (b) feel instantly better! Throw your hands up, smile and laugh. Turn on a great song like these happy songs! I also find that once I start dancing, I get back with my Self again and that is a safe, happy place I like to be.
6. Think of the Lovers. For every great hater, there are 5+ lovers in your life! Think of those people. Make a list right now of your top 5 Angel Lovers in your life and think of them the next time a hater walks into it. Being grateful instantly wipes away the slate of hate and suddenly, those rainbow colors start flowing in.
7. And finally, know Thyself. Take it as opportunity to brush up on who you are, what you’re doing and how you feel about those two things. When you are confident in who you are, what you are doing and why you are doing it, nothing anyone else can say should be able to shake that. They will try, but THEY are not YOU and this is YOUR Life so you must believe in YOU and move fiercely forward with who you are and what you’re doing. Send positive energy, wish them well and keep moving forward, because you have very important work to do girlfriend! So to all the girls out there doing fierce things and being good people (totally fierce!), keep at it, keep smiling, keep your positive vibe shield up and most importantly, keep being you.