Exactly two Tuesdays ago, I was questioning what in the hell I was doing in my Life. While I do consider myself killing it in the forward movement of what I give myself to career wise, I find myself circling back around to asking, “how am I showing up for me?” I sat down and journaled (pen to paper) how I was feeling, what I felt was missing, what I want, what I don’t want and how I would move forward. The answer came to me after an hour of digging. The answer was Reinvention.
I believe that one defines oneself by reinvention. To not be like your parents. To not be like your friends. To be yourself. To cut yourself out of stone. ~Henry Rollins
Why Reinvention? I asked myself this same question! Normally I would think I needed quiet time, journaling time (nailed it!) or doing something for me, and because I did those things first, I found within this quiet journaling time to myself that I needed to in fact play! I was lacking a focus on what I want for myself. I was lacking focus on my VISION for me and where I’m moving towards. I knew that what I had been doing up to this point, wasn’t working for me or giving me the results I needed so I need to reinvent to get the results I wanted. I knew that I hadn’t created a vision board for ME in a long time and that I hadn’t thought about what I wanted to do with my hair or makeup lately and that I hadn’t thought about how I wanted to approach my Life in a while and so I decided that it was time to reinvent myself! To reinvent my self language, how I approach problem solving like this one!
Girlfriend to girlfriend, this is something I struggle with and I think we all do as women moving fiercely forward in our lives, is that we give of our selves to everything else but ourselves and then we find ourselves sitting there empty handed when we realize we haven’t given anything to that woman who is doing it all. Well, this idea of Reinvention came to me when I decided that I would surrender to this just being a struggle that I may always struggle with, and making it a friend, not a foe. Because all of the things we struggle with, have a lesson within them and they continue to show up to tell you that something’s off center, that something needs to give, that it needs your attention. What a great friend. And also to approach it differently, this is already a check in the box for my reinvention!
So reinvention, I decided that I would try something new! I thought, what if I made a fun activity out of this imbalance and played with it. David Bowie did it, Beyonce’ embraces it and if I get really real here, I play with this every time I need to get fierce on my ass! To put a fierce face on, that IS reinvention. You are reinventing yourself so that you may move forward in a new direction, one that is whatever you create it to be. I realized that sometimes we just need to play with creation to get us back on center playing field, and still knowing that we will never be perfectly in the center and that’s the beauty of Life because who wants perfect! It’s in the imperfect that we seek, that we ask, that we reinvent, that we have space to move and sway and fierce forward.
How I Played with Reinvention
So I decided for me, that I wanted to do a couple of things to play with reinventing myself:
- I would go super blonde because I love an edge
- I would start doing my colored, winged liner on my eyes on the weekends
- I would create a new Vision Board for ME
- I would start writing the book I have said I would start for over a year now
These are all a great start and so I said I would start there.
How You Can Play with Reinvention
I think playing with something is a fierce, light change to a reactionary emotion to not being in balance! Here are some ways you can play with reinvention today:
- Write down what you want for yourself in the rest of 2015
- Create a Vision Board of Reinvention!
- Play with your hair or eye makeup or style/wardrobe and try something on that you may be scared to wear but do it anyways because it’s obviously speaking to you! (I think my pink faux fur coat, I love that thing!)
- Try to approach something in a completely different way than you normally would, think respond-ability vs. reactionary
P.S. I believe that we are always reinventing ourselves and that it is a tool from our arsenal that we need to continue moving fiercely forward.
My Vision Board, Reinvented
Went the blondest I have ever gone before yesterday. #reinventingashley #reinventyourself